I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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