O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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