If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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