Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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