Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize