if you like me you must not know who I am
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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