Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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