loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dicks are not precious.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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