i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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