very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize