Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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(604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma

Replies (34) Good night (2124) Bad night (2504)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink

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(609): apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink http://tfl.nu/9o16

Replies (37) Good night (968) Bad night (2384) Order T-Shirt
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(949): View more from California

I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.

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(949): I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay. http://tfl.nu/h3ep

Replies (29) Good night (987) Bad night (3516) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?

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(954): can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future? http://tfl.nu/6a5x

Replies (5) Good night (3239) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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(208): View more from Idaho

why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.

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(208): why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never. http://tfl.nu/g58g

Replies (27) Good night (8715) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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(+61): View more from Australia

I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy

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(+61): I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy http://tfl.nu/e6l2

Replies (36) Good night (3913) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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(626): View more from California

HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?

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(626): HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN? http://tfl.nu/rsqz

Replies (51) Good night (5879) Bad night (2011) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing

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(+44): you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing http://tfl.nu/zvza

Replies (10) Good night (4045) Bad night (1326) Order T-Shirt
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(718): View more from New York

According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.

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(718): According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago. http://tfl.nu/y0dx

Replies (5) Good night (2389) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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(949): View more from California

am i gonna have visuals on this?

(414): View more from Wisconsin

you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire

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(949): am i gonna have visuals on this? (414): you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire http://tfl.nu/3sug

Replies (12) Good night (1550) Bad night (414)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.

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(412): I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day. http://tfl.nu/3m26

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(563): View more from Iowa

As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...

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(563): As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me... http://tfl.nu/pbqy

Replies (6) Good night (2784) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads

(1-787): View more from Puerto Rico

Croutons?

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(787): He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads (1-787): Croutons? http://tfl.nu/yr5t

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(309): View more from Illinois

I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?

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(309): I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing? http://tfl.nu/0fxz

Replies (7) Good night (356) Bad night (803)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time

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(616): I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time http://tfl.nu/iio9

Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt

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