you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize