Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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