the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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