My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize