I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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