He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize