I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
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I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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