she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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