So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize