he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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