It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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