My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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