its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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