Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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