he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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