I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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