I'm lost and stupid without you.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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