marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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