Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize