well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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