She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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