I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize