btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize