dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize