I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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