I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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