I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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