you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize