College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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