and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sobbing to NWA
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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