Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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