Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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