Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize