I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
babies were throwing up all over the place
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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