I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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