At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize