i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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