Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize