:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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